Book Review: Rest in the Mourning (3 Stars)

Rest in the Mourning by R.H. Sims, is about self-love and self-care. It is a book of poems that centers on relationships: the feeling of love, heartbreak, deceit, pain, vulnerability, acceptance, healing, and moving on. This bears great similarity to Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur—and if you liked that book of poems, then you would certainly like Rest in the Mourning.

Basically, it is a torrent of “conscious” thoughts and sentiments. The book takes a feminist approach on female mental and sexual abuse—which expresses the array of emotions that are felt when being with someone who is unworthy of your love. It is poetically deep, moving, touching, and relatable. It shows how the heart is vulnerable to letting go of someone who does not deserve your energy and time.

It motivates females to combat abusive situations and people, and realize that you are worthy of a form of love that is not only healthy, but also raw and emotionally real; it’s about what the soul deserves and needs.

I liked the book, what it stands for, and the message that it conveys to readers in all spectrums—but I am noticing a trend of books that only focus on female abuse and never male abuse. Although the book may speak to a huge crowd of female audience, and may even touch the souls of males, I believe that there needs to be a book that is not only one-sided about certain sensitive topics that are commonly associated with females—but how the problems of vulnerability, abuse, heartbreak, deceit etc., can also apply to men as well. There are not enough discussions about male abuse, because there is a common perception that men are not exposed to the type of sexual or mental abuse that females tend to typically endure, or as often as females. Men used to normally represent power, entitlement, control, and other nonsense bull-crap that led to females to take a stand in society. No one ever wants to believe that males are exposed to sexual exploitation, mental cruelty, and physical maltreatment. It is wrong to think that abuse is a female problem—the main issue is that nobody is willing to address that matter and discuss it in mainstream culture.

This book can speak to the soul, but I hope to find a book that addresses self-love and self-care as a universal problem, not a gender one. I had originally rated it five stars in Goodreads, but I took the time to contemplate about the book further and I realized that it would be worthy of five stars if it included men in the category of being victims as well.  There are people who believe that feminism is about gender equality for both male and females, but I am beginning to realize that it may not be the case anymore—and somehow, this book exemplifies that.

x, Kayla